After battling chronic headaches, memory loss and insomnia, Alfonso Dickflex, a user created player from the Playstation 2 version of Madden 2004, has decided to sue the NFL for hiding information about concussions. Alfonso, who was created by then 14 year old Max Shelley when Max was feeling bored one day, told reporters, “Clearly, my days playing football have resulted in my health problems. The league knew things about head injuries that it wasn’t telling the players and I am holding them accountable.”
Alfonso, a wide receiver with a 99 overall rating, played 16 seasons in the game’s Franchise mode and often found himself in the middle of many Mountain Dew fueled marathon gaming sessions in the early hours of the morning. “I barely remember those times,” the 128 bit collection of polygons and AI programming continued, “It’s probably a symptom of all the collisions and hits to the head I’ve received.”
Alfonso also explained that his teammates, also players created by Max and who often bore the name of Max’s then high school friends, are also suffering from these life altering symptoms but that they feel like the lawsuit is a losing battle.
“Do I think they have a point? Certainly,” said Alfonso, a player who Max gave a 96 kick power rating and a 99 zone coverage rating despite the fact that he was a wide receiver, “But I refuse to let that deter me from getting the treatment the NFL owes me.”
At press time, the case is planned to go before a judge a month from now.
UPDATE: It is with heavy hearts that we report that the Madden 2004 save file containing Alfonso Dickflex was accidentally overwritten by a Viewtiful Joe 2 save file. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Dickflex family during this difficult time.