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NFL Considers Penalizing Any Hits Above And Below The Waist

28 Aug

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The NFL recently announced that in the 2014-2015 season they are considering penalizing any hits above the waist and any hits below the waist. “Obviously, safety is a huge concern,” commissioner Roger Goodell told reporters at a press conference, “with the lawsuit dealing with concussions and the recent plague of ACL injuries, we’re definitely open to the option of penalizing hits above the waist and any hits below the waist.” Goodell says that penalizing these hits will result in a cleaner and safer game and that the players should have no trouble adapting to it. “We’re talking about the best athletes in the world,” Goodell continued, “I have full confidence in a player’s ability to target a quarter inch by quarter inch area while traveling at 13 miles per hour as other players collide into him at the exact same speed.” The commissioner ended his presser by showing schematics for a new uniform that will be instituted in the league by 2016, a full body exoskeleton made out of pillows and marshmallow fluff.

 

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Posted by on August 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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