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Little League World Series Players Excited To Someday Reach Age When They Can Use Steroids

13 Aug

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With the Little League World Series underway, many of the young, child athletes have come out to say how excited they are to someday reach the age when they can use performance enhancing drugs. “I’m at an age right now where my mom barely lets me drink Kool Aid Bursts an hour before bedtime,” 12 year old Andy Kelly told reporters, “so I still have a few years to wait before I can start injecting myself with human growth hormone, but golly, I can’t wait!” Another Little League player, eleven year old Cam Varnson, said that he can barely sleep at night, excitedly thinking about which anabolic steroid he is going to take. “Right now, I have it narrowed down between methylestrenolone and norethandrolone,” explained Varson, “Jimmy says he’s going to take drostanolone, but that’s for dorks.” The parents of the kids say they have no issue their children taking steroids, as long as they “move onto a sport that isn’t fucking baseball.”

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Posted by on August 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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