Johnny Manziel In Trouble For Eating Dessert Before Finishing Vegetables

08 Aug



Johnny Manziel’s heavily scrutinized offseason has taken another controversial turn as the sophomore quarterback was caught eating dessert before finishing his vegetables. A disappointed Kevin Sumlin, head coach of the Texas A&M football team, commented, “I walked into the mess hall and couldn’t believe my eyes. Johnny was sitting there, dixie cup of ice cream in hand when he blatantly still had a few spoonfuls of corn on his tray. What do we need to tell this kid before he finally wakes up?” Eric Hyman, the athletic director of Texas A&M, also expressed his anger at Manziel, saying, “Listen, it would have been one thing if he was eating a dish of fruit for dessert, or even some delicious non fat frozen yogurt. But ice cream before your vegetables are done? Come on, Johnny, you know better than that.” Hyman plans to assist the NCAA in investigating the incident and doesn’t rule out suspending the young player for his insolence. “He’s a lightning rod, no doubt,” Hyman continued, “he just needs to be smarter and stop bringing this sort of attention to himself. If he isn’t careful, he’s going to miss out on some important vitamins that vegetables can give you and he’s setting himself up for a future full of acne.” This incident will prove rocky for Manziel to traverse, as he is already in hot water for going to bed without brushing his teeth last Wednesday night.



Posted by on August 8, 2013 in Uncategorized


43 responses to “Johnny Manziel In Trouble For Eating Dessert Before Finishing Vegetables

  1. heckyessica

    August 9, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    rocky road, amiright?

    • dope boy money swag

      August 11, 2013 at 2:01 am


  2. Andrew

    August 10, 2013 at 2:29 am

    Love this blog!!!

  3. Roxanne Mitchell

    August 10, 2013 at 5:25 am

    This kid is an athlete and knows what works for him. This is just ludicrous!

  4. kendall isbel

    August 10, 2013 at 11:29 am

    moral of the story, if we deny what is good for us, to others, we forget that we once didnt have it. where would college football do without you. eat that ice cream but do not leave some on your shirt to be seen and then melted only to have been wasted away.

  5. Eron

    August 10, 2013 at 12:37 pm


    • dope boy money swag

      August 11, 2013 at 1:47 am

      best troll ever

    • Keep Honkin I'm Reloading

      August 13, 2013 at 1:58 pm


  6. Donum

    August 10, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    Ok ok…. I must confess …. I saw him with a BIG bag of chips & 2litre bottle of Jolt-Cola !!!!! i SWEAR, but there are no pictures, you just have to believe me…..

  7. Bryan

    August 10, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    This can’t be a real story … Right????

  8. Joanne

    August 10, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    Give the guy a brek.

    • Joanne

      August 10, 2013 at 4:16 pm

      Excuse me – “Give the guy a break.”

  9. Bonnie collins

    August 10, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    You are kidding, right?
    This is just stupid.

    • Tim

      August 12, 2013 at 5:04 pm

      Yes, they are kidding. It’s a joke

  10. bobbybecka

    August 10, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    Reblogged this on we work with words and commented:

  11. Merritt Johnson

    August 10, 2013 at 10:09 pm

    If it is true about his taking money for signing autographs, he is history anyway. He is just too immature to be a leader of a team.

    • dope boy money swag

      August 11, 2013 at 2:05 am

      swag surfin homie

  12. JDO

    August 10, 2013 at 10:28 pm

    Yea. That’s almost the same as taking $7500 for signing helmets. Almost….

  13. SpankyMcFly

    August 10, 2013 at 11:33 pm

    Seriously…this is a JOKE people…satire…humor…C’Mon!

  14. you people

    August 10, 2013 at 11:39 pm

    These comments are full of proof that the internet is made up entirely of idiots.

  15. JKK

    August 10, 2013 at 11:51 pm

    Oh come on, you can’t be buying into this obvious ironical spoof can you?

    • Margaret

      August 11, 2013 at 9:42 pm

      Apparently people are really that stupid!

  16. graffie4

    August 11, 2013 at 1:37 am

    So they’re still “HUSH..HUSH” about Johnny not wearing clean undies to Dr.’s appt. for his physical?
    prediction….someone will cough up that info.

  17. Heidi U. Doo

    August 11, 2013 at 1:50 am

    If he forgot to floss, I’m outta here.

  18. Adventuremel

    August 11, 2013 at 1:52 am

    Maybe someone should tell the coach that corn is not a veggie … it’s grain, and a starchy one at that.

    • ABCD

      August 12, 2013 at 6:32 pm

      Yes, he’s a pretty smart Aggie…

  19. JDO

    August 11, 2013 at 2:03 am

    Yea. I think most of us get that the blogger is trying to say that he gets beat on for frivolous bs all the time. The kid needs better babysitters. His parents have to live less than 2 miles from him in Bryan. He is a misfit at best. If someone does not grab him and shake him he will end up pissing away a multimillion dollar opportunity on a date with a hooker. Or worse.

    • dope boy money swag

      August 11, 2013 at 2:06 am

      lol mad?

  20. mickey

    August 11, 2013 at 2:38 am

    Really?? How is this young man going to grow up to be the NFL player he could be if he isn’t finishing his Veggies? Everyone knows that to become a starting QB in the NFL getting the nutrients from his Veggies is paramount. He may not be brushing his teeth like he should eaither…how is he going to get a girl to allow him to inseminate her if he has bad breath? He may never have kids at this rate..

  21. Marilyn

    August 11, 2013 at 3:22 am

    Come on People. Grown the hell up. Johnny is still a young COLLEGE STUDENT. YOU WANT TO START SHIT OVER HIM EATING SOME ICE CREAM AND LEAVING A COUPLE OF SPOONS OF CORN. You couldn’t find anything more important than that. Get off of the boy’s back and let him breathe a little before he royally screws up.

  22. qb

    August 11, 2013 at 4:35 am

    That ain’t the half of it, just last Sunday he was escorted out of church for singing too loud!

  23. nks

    August 11, 2013 at 11:53 am

    Isn’t there another country in the world where dessert is eaten before the main meal? Have forgotten the trivia learned as a child.

  24. Byars Joesph McCall

    August 11, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    Life is short. Eat desserts first!

  25. Margaret

    August 11, 2013 at 9:47 pm

    It’s hard for me to read some of these comments! How can people not realize the author of this post is being satyrical? Wow!

    • Larry

      August 12, 2013 at 9:18 pm

      Bewildered at the staggering number of people who don’t understand satire… and excellent satire at that.

  26. Rick

    August 12, 2013 at 2:27 am

    If its on the Internet, it has to be true! And I’m a French model!

  27. Lette lpries

    August 13, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    Bahahahaha! way funny

  28. Winnie Cooper

    August 13, 2013 at 5:53 pm

    STESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS … the Money Badger is obviously stressed!

    • A. Rip.

      August 17, 2013 at 1:14 pm

      STRESSED is the correct spelling ag. Pull your HEAD Out.

  29. Austin Dallas

    August 16, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    Johnny can’t catch a break. This news also just broke regarding Manziel…

  30. Oh my child!

    October 28, 2013 at 2:50 am

    First off, “Wow!, Look at all these comments!” Way to go, Haaannnly! If only more people commented on you other posts, that would be great! Second, I want to believe that those who commented very seriously and defensively about Johnny were also being satirical, but I know people are that ignorant! It is great! Miss ya, brah!

    • stonesfan17

      October 29, 2013 at 2:39 pm

      Miss you too, Questions! Will you meet me in the middle? Will you meet me in the air?


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