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God Plans On Banning Alex Rodriguez From Baseball Activities In Afterlife

01 Aug

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The potential lifetime suspension from baseball is the least of Alex Rodriguez’s worries, as recent reports have revealed that God, ruler of Heaven and Earth, intends on banning Rodriguez from baseball activities in the afterlife. “Whatever Bud Selig does is his business,” God explained to reporters, “that’s why I gave you hooligans free will in the first place. But when Rodriguez dies, he better not expect to lace up his cleats on my watch.” God then continued to explain how A-Rod won’t be allowed “within a mile radius of our weekly pickup games” and hopes that he doesn’t intend on “even conversing with late baseball greats such as Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Ulysses S. Grant.” “What A-Rod did to the sport is a travesty,” God said, shaking His almighty head, “if we don’t have the intergrity of the game, what do we have?” In related news, Satan has expressed interest in picking up Rodriguez’s contract if the Yankees choose to release him.

 

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Posted by on August 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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