Marlins Pitcher Pulls Himself After Two Pitches

22 Jul



Just a few days after Erik Bedard pulled himself out of a no hitter during the 7th inning, Miami Marlins pitcher Jacob Turner pulled himself out of a game against the Brewers after just two pitches. Turner threw two fastballs for balls before he called manager Mike Redmond over to tell him he was taking himself out of the game. Turner explained the controversial decision, saying, “I want to preserve my arm and body for games that actually count and that I actually have a chance to win. My future, heath, general well being, and dignity are far more important than taking another three to nothing loss with this team.” Turner continued his explanation, saying that he also was really in the mood to play some “Pokemon Blue in the clubhouse” and that he would “much rather take on that bitch Sabrina in the Saffron City Gym than go through the motions of losing with the Marlins.” The Marlins, who are currently in the midst of a 37 scoreless inning stretch, were forced to forfeit the game when every other pitcher on staff simultaneously complained of back spasms and left for the hospital.


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Posted by on July 22, 2013 in Uncategorized


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