Jose Bautista, outfielder for the Toronto Blue Jays, has been enjoying a hot streak lately and he believes he knows the reason why. Bautista told reporters that his streak began when he started to have a lust filled affair with R.A. Dickey’s wife, Anne Dickey. “I try not to put too much stock into superstitions, but I have to admit, I’m a little hesitant to stop having sex with Mrs. Dickey at this point.” Bautista then listed an extensive list of sexual positions that he and Anne Dickey have done over the hot streak and which ones were the most successful. “Well, I went three for four the night we were experimental and did The Alabama Toolshed,” he explained, “so I’m thinking that might be our go-to position from now on. But then again, I hit a home run on the night we did the Seven Monkey Split, so I’m thinking we may give that another try. Whatever works, yanno.” R.A. Dickey was asked how he felt, and said, “I’m a team player, so if that’s what Jose needs to do to play well, I’m all for it,” right before reporters had to pull him back from sticking his head in a brick oven.