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Studies Show Drinking Eight Gallons Of Milk A Day Causes Stomach Problems

01 Jun

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A few days ago, a study claimed that drinking 2 liters of soda a day can cause as tooth decay on par with meth use (http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/05/29/diet-soda-just-as-harmful-to-teeth-as-meth-and-crack-cocaine-study-claims/) and now a new study warns of the danger of too much milk. The study, led by Dr. Gary Ross of Boston, MA, claims that drinking 8 gallons of milk a day will cause stomach pain. Dr. Ross explains, “We once thought that milk was good for you. It’s full of vitamins and calcium, helps strengthen your bones, and can even help with controlling your weight. However, I found that we were dead wrong.” Ross led the study, giving a panel of subjects varying amounts of milk over a period of 24 hours. Ross’s findings were dramatic and disturbing. “Those who drank 8 gallons in that one day period were in intense pain. They were writhing on the ground, clutching their stomachs, screaming at me for mercy. It…was hard to watch.” Ross plans on publishing his findings, and gives some simple advice for those who enjoy milk. “A few glasses a day will do your body good. However, once you start getting into the territory of 6, 7 gallons? That’s when it starts getting dangerous. It’s all about self control. Thank God we have the science and medicine of today.” It’s been a busy month for Ross, as this info comes hot off the heels of his recent discovery that repeated bludgeoning of the testicles with a tire iron may cause sterility.

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Posted by on June 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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