As my first ever post, this is me trying my hand at an Onion style satire article. I repeat once again: This article is SATIRE. If you read the Onion, particularly its sports section, then this should feel familiar.
Washington Redskins to Change Name to Less Offensive Washington Porch Monkeys
After facing endless amounts of pressure from the media, football analysts and the city of Washington DC itself, the Washington Redskins have agreed to change their name to the less controversial Washington Porch Monkeys. “I’ve always been uneasy using the racial slur ‘Redskins’ for our team,” the team owner, Dan Snyder, confessed at his press conference, “so I’m happy to announce we are changing our team name to the much more sensitive and far less offensive Washington Porch Monkeys.” The name is looking to appeal to the urban youth demographic of the city and will feature a picture of Al Jolson from The Jazz Singer as its new logo. “I am just so excited,” Snyder continued, “that we are able to finally end this controversy and move into a new chapter of our proud franchise.” Other team names the team was considering were the Jungle Bunnies, the Honkies and the Pancake Faces.